ahh can't wait

Two posts in 10 minutes?? currently listening to music on Pandora. for some reason, music always stimulates my thought process. I'm talking to my cousin in aim. she's a junior in highschool. we were discussing a problem of hers, one that was really similar to one i had two years ago. i just realized, and find it odd, that i feel closer to her highschool life than to my life right now. anyway, she shared with me her stresses over her obligations, something i struggle with even now.
i ended up not giving her advice, but telling her what i did in my junior year.
looking at my junior year in retrospect, i gave up a lot that year. i dont regret it one bit. i gained a lot more than i gave up. my junior year probably got me here today. it was probably like a huge landmark in my life so far. however, now i question what i will have learned this year? its been nearly one year that ive graduated, and the daunting tasks of reading books, doing problems, and calculating unknown values, still dominate most of my time
sitting here in my dorm room, i dont feel anymore independent, intellegent, sophisticated, or older. i wonder if its going to happen suddenly, like an epiphany of maturity. when will i feel like this renovated person? what do i have to do to feel independence?

Freshhhh.

So this is my first time writing in a while, that is, writing that does not involve a prompt or grade. Actually its my first time blogging in college. My old blogs got deleted, which made me kind of sad. I guess its my fault for abandoning it all senior year. Odd, no? The most memorable and exciting year of my life by far has gone...unrecorded.

Consider this a fresh start. Freshman year of college. Freshhh.